Anna Speckhart is the mother of June. In addition to being a mother and supermodel, she also runs one of the funniest YouTube channels we’ve ever seen. Here, she shares her birth story.
I was having contractions really bad at dinner in Illinois when I thought, “I should probably go to the hospital.” I think I was in denial when it all started. We had eaten dinner and gone home and we were both really calm. We live an hour and a half from the hospital and my husband, Carlos, is a new driver and I'm a control freak. So, the plan was we would call my brother-in-law, who has driven his wife to the hospital mid-labor five times. We still, however, had to get into town, which was about a 20-minute drive, to meet him. I asked Carlos if he minded if I just drove. I'm so nervous about him driving anywhere.
We were supposed to meet my brother-in-law at the nearby Jiffy stop, so I start driving there. Carlos had forgotten to call him to tell him we're on our way. So, while we're waiting for him to arrive, we get gas. I go inside and use the bathroom and my water is just spewing…no, leaking! I go to get paper towels and the lady at the station asks me if I’m in labor. I said calmly, “I think so?”
Carlos then had the audacity to ask if he could get a cup of coffee. I said, “Sure, that's fine.” He then asked, "Think we have time for a fresh pot?” Anyways, we got the coffee for free.
We then drove to the hospital. We got there really fast and were admitted.
I had on a whole look. It wasn't, like, a great look, but it was a look. I had on the maternity jeans I was obsessed with and this beautiful, long cashmere duster. When I got into the hospital room, the nurse told me to stand up. "I'm really wet," I warned her. When I finally got up, she goes, “Oh, bless your heart.” My duster was ruined. Ruined! My mom offered to wash it.
I had very textbook labor.
I didn't go in with any kind of plan whatsoever. “I'll play it by ear,” I thought. I didn't know if I wanted to get an epidural. When I started to feel sick and throw up, though, I was ready. The pain! Everyone says they don't remember the pain, so they had more babies. I was ready for an epidural. And the epidural is CHILL. I was immediately like, "Can we order room service?"
After I got the epidural the whole process was very quick. All my sisters went quick and I went quick as well. I pushed for an hour and a half. I couldn't really feel anything because of the epidural. I didn't feel the pushing at all. I'm personally very happy about that.
My brother-in-law and my sister, my mom, my dad and my husband were all in my delivery room. We're a very open family, and it’s not like they watched her come out. But, they were all there for the first “wah.”
I didn’t call my parents on the way to the hospital because my dad is a nervous Nancy. My thought was: get to the hospital, get that epidural, and then I'll call my parents. They were furious that we didn't call them on the way and were already mad when they showed up to the hospital. My mom – who has had six kids with no epidural – enters the room saying, “You ready to do this natural?” I’m like, "Oh, no, no! I got that epidural.”
I wanted to record the labor for Instagram. I wanted to get this shot, basically me just looking to camera. My doctor agreed to let me do it. And when I started to do it, we realized I can actually concentrate better when I’m looking at myself. She told me I was much better pushing when I’m looking at my own face.
But I got the shot! Honestly, I was a little bummed because I felt like I had a double chin. And I have a no-Photoshop policy. I was looking at the video thinking, “Should I? Should I should I break my own policy?”
When she finally came out, the doctor put her on my chest immediately and they let me have extra time with her. I did skin to skin. I never wanted to leave her. I was obsessed with her. I was a little worried about bonding because a lot of people say they feel very euphoric being pregnant. I liked being pregnant. I got special treatment. I felt pretty good. But, I didn't have this instant feeling where I felt this crazy connection. It was just kind of weird. There's something growing in you. It was beautiful, for sure. But I don't think I understood what I was in store for.
But I felt that connection immediately. It's been a very interesting process. I think that I lacked empathy prior to having a child. I almost feel a little bit like a different person. I can't relate to my former self anymore.
The First Year
For eight months, I was home before coming back to New York. I don't want to be that person that is like. “it was such an easy adjustment.” But, I really feel my whole life I I always wanted children, even though I didn't really like other children. But my mom was a stay at home mom. I idolized her a lot. And that's what I knew and I really liked. I have never known what I wanted to do. I've always lacked passion and have always felt that motherhood would be my passion. And it really is. Which is great.
I feel like as June has gotten older, motherhood has gotten harder for me. I feel lonelier now than I did before. Luckily, I have a husband that's around all the time and I have friends. But, I find finding mom friends really difficult. You either like a kid or you like the mom.
Body of work
Going back to work has been okay. If I could, I don't think I'd ever go back to work. My husband thinks that I'm lying out of my teeth when I say that because I do really enjoy making money. Going back to work, I have a different appreciation for what I do. My work is about looks
I've been very fortunate in my body. I think women really struggle with it. People deal with body issues their whole entire lives and then you have a baby and your body is completely different. My body is completely different. It looks the same, but, it's still way different. And I think a lot of people feel pressure with having a job that that's so focused on body. But for me, I don't care. I go to work to make money and then I go home to June. I don't really have a tolerance for putting extra pressure on myself. It's already hard enough to be a mom. That’s been kind of a godsend, a blessing, should I say, that for me, I don't care. I want to do good at my job. I like to be professional. But I have a much better perspective. I don't have time to go to the gym right now. So it is what it is. This is what you have. This is it. And maybe it will be different. Maybe once again, I will like to work out or not eat Fruity Pebbles for breakfast.
The whole “mommy” advice thing
Here I am giving you a bunch of my stories. You can take it as advice or not advice. But really, what's worked for me is that whole, “you do you” mentality. Honestly, I even love to listen to the mom advice on some levels. I just don't love to take it. I am the baby of the family. And no one puts baby in the corner.